It was sometime around early 2014 that I accidentally discovered this song. It has been more than three years and I can still listen to it on loop at any given time of the day – after waking up, while working in office, before going to bed, while having sex, while travelling, while eating… you name it.
Revisiting the past can be a terrible thing. And yet, sitting with a mug of Old Monk and coke, a burning cigarette dangling through the lips, I do exactly that. Foolish? Or, poetic? Depends on the way you look at it. Sitting in my dark room, with the dim yellow light making crisscross patterns on my face, I see the happiness I once left behind. I reach out to it in my drunken haze; hopelessly and foolishly trying to hold on to something that’s long gone.
Last night, I was watching Sex and the City: The Movie (2008), well, for the 42nd time, and of course I drew a parallel. When Carrie Bradshaw’s Vogue Editor talked about “The last single girl” photo shoot featuring Carrie in various designer wedding dresses, me, while sipping my cheap beer (month end plus just quit my cushy job) exclaimed to myself, “Mm hmm, I know exactly what you mean, girl.” Only difference being, she was a 40-year-old bride, and I am 28. But hello? That’s New York and this is Bombay. It’s only fair.
Now if there’s anything that’s exactly like SATC in my life it’s the fact that I lucked out in my girlfriends department. I’ve my own set of Samantha, Miranda and Charlotte, even though they’re physically not here with me in Manhattan aka Mumbai.
You guys got it all wrong. It’s not love that kills you. It’s the could-have-beens that do.
Love is beautiful. It makes you want to live. Laugh. Dance. But thinking and re-thinking what could-have-been makes you die a little inside. It numbs you. And you can’t even cry. Because, how can you cry over something that you never had in the first place? What a curse. The curse of an almost relationship.
“Wake up,” he said as he rolled over her side and kissed her mouth.
Morning kisses are an interesting amalgamation of oh-this-is-so-fucking-hot-I’ll-tear-your-pants-off and I-know-what-you-had-last-night. The room was dark and dreamy at 5 in the morning and she could see a silhouette of his face as she tried to crinkle her eyes open.
“What time is it? Ouch…Your beard,” she managed to gasp and talk while playing with his tongue.
“I’ll shave today. Okay?” he broke the kiss.
“No. It’s nice. Brings the poet out in you quite well,” she giggled while settling her head on his chest.
The snooze alarm began to ring. He promptly hit it off.
The blade was an inch away from her shaking wrist. The hand shook as the cold blade finally touched her warm skin.
She plopped clumsily on the pristine white bathroom floor and buried her face on the trembling knees. And then she cried. First time in weeks, she let out a scream which was hardly audible–she barely had any energy left inside.
Science says, and not me, that marriages last due to two basic traits – kindness and generosity
The year is 2015 and we are robots. Well, not literally, but you get the drift. The world has become smaller, thanks to social media, but what has that done to us? Only made us go further away from each other in real life—quite an irony, isn’t it? Real relationships are crumbling, we are busier than ever, 24 hours are seeming less and divorce rates are only going up. Continue reading
To help you make the most of the time before letting the world in on your special secret!
You have finally confirmed the news with your doctor and you both have laughed, cried, shrieked and are feeling overwhelmed by the news. But you’d rather wait awhile before breaking the news of your pregnancy to the world. Here are 5 fun things you can do with your partner that can make the two of you come even closer during this magical hush-hush period! Continue reading
Before I start writing this story, let me tell you a little bit about myself—I have never really been the sappy, romantic kinds. I mean yes, I love being in ‘love’ and I love everything that comes with being in a long, serious relationship, but I have never been someone who will go awwww on receiving a box of chocolates or dissolve in a puddle of mush on receiving flowers for no reason. If the chocolates are good, I’ll eat them even if they are in the shape of, I don’t know, spiders; and on most days, I think flowers are a dreadful waste of money and space. My idea of romance is a little, how shall I put it… Non-conventional. Which is where the idea for this feature came from. I’m so sick of all the boring advice that self-appointed experts have been peddling for years to us women. Truth be told, I’d sooner eat my own hand than recommend cooking as a romantic activity—even Cupid would wince and slink back to his corner quietly if he was exposed to the withering looks of Shanta bai as she surveyed the kitchen after the said romantic meal had been cooked! Continue reading
As the plane started moving on the runway, ready to take off, she glanced outside the window one last time. The vision was blurry from all the tears and smudged kajal—so all she could see were bright spots and a rain washed horizon. In the next few seconds, Bombay looked like a little piece of land owned by a rich farmer, sitting pretty by the beautiful Marine Drive. She clutched the Boarding Pass tightly in her sweaty palms, threw her head back on the seat and shut her eyes tight. Continue reading