“You tried so hard to not be a cliche. And that…,” he paused for effect and said with relish, “…is such a cliche.” He put the beer mug down with a smirk and looked at her.
Sitting under the small red hanging light, in the light-and-darkness of the cheap Chinese restaurant in Sudder Street, his face looked different. With his unruly hair that’s in stark contrast to his well-trimmed stubble and sharp words, he managed to stab her in the heart, yet again.
‘The root of all problems’, she stared at his stubble and pondered. He looks like a child fresh out of high school without it. But grow it back and it takes so long for her to come up with a counter. Such as… now.
A balmy Sashthi morning in October 2006 is when I first saw him. Tall, fair, handsome. He wore a loopy grin that complemented his dark blue kurta. I wore a purple flowing skirt paired with a spring in my step. We met like a textbook Bengali cliché. During Durga Puja. That too, at Maddox Square — the playground of young adults, free for those five days, away from textbooks, away from routine and overindulgent parents — basking in the intoxication of freedom.
It was sometime around early 2014 that I accidentally discovered this song. It has been more than three years and I can still listen to it on loop at any given time of the day – after waking up, while working in office, before going to bed, while having sex, while travelling, while eating… you name it.
Revisiting the past can be a terrible thing. And yet, sitting with a mug of Old Monk and coke, a burning cigarette dangling through the lips, I do exactly that. Foolish? Or, poetic? Depends on the way you look at it. Sitting in my dark room, with the dim yellow light making crisscross patterns on my face, I see the happiness I once left behind. I reach out to it in my drunken haze; hopelessly and foolishly trying to hold on to something that’s long gone.
Last night, I was watching Sex and the City: The Movie (2008), well, for the 42nd time, and of course I drew a parallel. When Carrie Bradshaw’s Vogue Editor talked about “The last single girl” photo shoot featuring Carrie in various designer wedding dresses, me, while sipping my cheap beer (month end plus just quit my cushy job) exclaimed to myself, “Mm hmm, I know exactly what you mean, girl.” Only difference being, she was a 40-year-old bride, and I am 28. But hello? That’s New York and this is Bombay. It’s only fair.
Now if there’s anything that’s exactly like SATC in my life it’s the fact that I lucked out in my girlfriends department. I’ve my own set of Samantha, Miranda and Charlotte, even though they’re physically not here with me in Manhattan aka Mumbai.
You guys got it all wrong. It’s not love that kills you. It’s the could-have-beens that do.
Love is beautiful. It makes you want to live. Laugh. Dance. But thinking and re-thinking what could-have-been makes you die a little inside. It numbs you. And you can’t even cry. Because, how can you cry over something that you never had in the first place? What a curse. The curse of an almost relationship.
“Wake up,” he said as he rolled over her side and kissed her mouth.
Morning kisses are an interesting amalgamation of oh-this-is-so-fucking-hot-I’ll-tear-your-pants-off and I-know-what-you-had-last-night. The room was dark and dreamy at 5 in the morning and she could see a silhouette of his face as she tried to crinkle her eyes open.
“What time is it? Ouch…Your beard,” she managed to gasp and talk while playing with his tongue.
“I’ll shave today. Okay?” he broke the kiss.
“No. It’s nice. Brings the poet out in you quite well,” she giggled while settling her head on his chest.
The snooze alarm began to ring. He promptly hit it off.
The blade was an inch away from her shaking wrist. The hand shook as the cold blade finally touched her warm skin.
She plopped clumsily on the pristine white bathroom floor and buried her face on the trembling knees. And then she cried. First time in weeks, she let out a scream which was hardly audible–she barely had any energy left inside.
Science says, and not me, that marriages last due to two basic traits – kindness and generosity
The year is 2015 and we are robots. Well, not literally, but you get the drift. The world has become smaller, thanks to social media, but what has that done to us? Only made us go further away from each other in real life—quite an irony, isn’t it? Real relationships are crumbling, we are busier than ever, 24 hours are seeming less and divorce rates are only going up. Continue reading
To help you make the most of the time before letting the world in on your special secret!
You have finally confirmed the news with your doctor and you both have laughed, cried, shrieked and are feeling overwhelmed by the news. But you’d rather wait awhile before breaking the news of your pregnancy to the world. Here are 5 fun things you can do with your partner that can make the two of you come even closer during this magical hush-hush period! Continue reading