Kya Kool Hain Hum 3 review: Distasteful, crass & illogical

Director: Umesh Ghadge

Cast: Tusshar Kapoor, Aftab Shivdasani, Shakti Kapoor, Mandana Karimi, Darshan Jariwala, Meghna Naidu, Gizele Thakral, Claudia Ciesla

You know what to expect from a movie that spells cool with a K. What you don’t expect though, is finding out that it isn’t the worst part about the movie. You wish it was though. Because, Kya Kool Hain Hum 3 (KKHH 3) serves you much worse, in abundance – a song that goes ‘Oh boy oh boy, you’re my soft toy’ for example. Directed by Umesh Ghadge and written by Milap Zaveri, the third installment in the ‘Kya Kool’ franchise is a challenge to your intellect, senses and overall sanity.

When you’re going to watch a Bollywood  adult comedy (or as the makers of the movie like to call it – a ‘porn com’), you know how it’s going to turn out. But the least you expect are some funny punchlines, a script and some decent acting. This movie offers you none. KKHH 3 starts with two childhood friends – good-for-nothing Kanhaiyya (Tusshar Kapoor) who’s in search of true love and womanizer Rocky (Aftab Shivdasani). Kanhaiyya gets thrown out of the house by his business tycoon father (Shakti Kapoor) who’s all set to marry Kanhaiyya’s aunt (Meghna ‘kaliyon ka chaman’ Naidu). The duo then goes to their Bangkok based friend Mickey (Krushna Abhishek) for the hope of a new job and new life.

Mickey conveniently lives in a huge mansion with pornstars (VJ Andy, Gizele Thakral, Claudia Ciesla and gang) and makes porn movies which recreates popular Bollywood films as per demand. So there’s a parody of Ek Villain called Ek Milan where Gizele tells the villain, ‘Ey villain toh ho jaye Milan?’, Rockstar becomes Cocktar and the women scream, ‘O nadan darinde ghar aaja’ while heaving and showing off their huge assets. They have butchered a classic like Sholay too, with the reply to ‘Kitney aadmi thi?’ being ‘Pachaas ki upar ki ginti mujhe nahi ati’. And yes, how can one forget the parody of Kick named Lick? I cannot unsee Tusshar Kapoor in a false French beard emulating Salman Khan, ‘Kabhi devil apke neeche, Kabhi aap devil ka neeche. Too much fun.’ followed by, ‘Do whatever you want to do man!’ Sigh. You get the point.

For some weird reason Tusshar becomes cock-eyed every time he sees the colour red. Did they put this gag only so they could put the word cock in the script? Well, your guess is as good as mine. Anyway, Kanhaiyya falls in ‘true love’ with Shaalu (Mandana Karimi), the daughter of Surya Karjatya (Darshan Jariwala) and in order to impress the would be father-in-law he makes the pornstars pretend like they are his family. What follows is a cringe fest of women biting their lips, sighing and making orgasmic noises for no apparent reason, a parrot who’s called ‘popat’ so that some double innuendo dialogues can be delivered and even a scene where a lovestruck Tusshar walks towards Mandana in crazy traffic without realizing he’s crossing a busy road (reminds you of Ajay Devgn in Ishq and you immediately reprimand yourself for even comparing the two).

There are also dialogues like Krushna telling Tusshar ‘Maine tujhe Shakti Kapoor samjha par tu toh Tusshar Kapoor nikla’ or Tusshar telling Krushna ‘Pranam pitaji’ to which he replies ‘Jeetu raho beta’ followed by ‘Ekdin yeh ladka duniya mein Ekta layega.’ I can’t even.

And if that’s not all, there’s shameless brand promotion throughout in this excuse of a movie – of Passmyorder.com, Lawman page 3, Hangout, Bora Bora, Stay On, Lucera – and they have even inserted the word ‘lawman pehene..’ in the lyrics of the song Jawani Le Doobi. But before I can recover from the tripe that KKHH 3 is, get ready for Mastizaade in a week’s time. Hope the sensible audience out there decides better.

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