We’ve all heard these lines in our lifetimes – and while some of them might be relics of the past, others are never going out of style!
You aren’t eating enough/You’re becoming too thin
So what if you look like a laddoo? Your mom will always think you’re skinny and underfed and need to be stuffed with buttery parathas till you’re actually sick.
Money doesn’t grow on trees
Thanks for telling me that, Dad. That’s exactly why horticulturist is not on the list of careers I might want to try some day.
X’s child is better than you
No matter how brilliant you might be at anything or everything, as far as your parents are concerned, the neighborhood Bunty or distant cousin Dolly will ALWAYS be better than you. (But take heart: someone else’s parents thinks you’re better than their kid.)
If you don’t stop crying, bhoot/police will come
And being frightened is supposed to stop you crying? Where’s the logic?
Don’t cut your nails or hair after sunset
Or on Tuesdays. Or Thursdays. Or Mondays. Basically, making an appointment with your hairdresser required more time, thought and planning than selecting your future groom or bride in the arranged marriage setup.
Boroline can heal everything in the world
As a Bengali who grew up in Kolkata, I can tell you this for a fact: Boroline can cure everything. EVERYTHING. If we could, we’d be eating Boroline sabzi for good health!
What do you mean, you don’t want to be a doctor/engineer?
This was a really serious one. After all, when the famous chaar log come to ask, “Writing toh theek hai, lekinjob kya hai?” WHAT WOULD THEY SAY!?
Watching TV will make your eyes go bad
So to compensate, I stopped reading and studying.
Tea will make you dark
Well, that saves me having to fry in the sun to get a tan. And stop lying: Tea runs through my veins more than blood does, and I’m still fair and not lovely.
Milk will make you taller and stronger
Mum. I’m 26 and I’m still tiny and waif-like. How come all that milk you forced me to drink all those years didn’t work? I feel cheated.
(Note: This post of mine was originally published in Yowoto on 16th October 2014)