So, they say ‘Karma is a bitch’. Which breed, I ask? And most importantly, why is poor Karma a bitch anyway? Karma is actually a little orphan who has nowhere to go. It craves for some love and sufficient attention. So, it looks for a chance and jumps on you, given an opportunity. No, not exactly the same way Rakhi Sawant craves for the media.
After my last two relationships, I did some permutation-combination, did weird math in the head, and concluded dreamily, ‘It’s all Karma, June”. But then the voices inside my head chirpily giggled in a chorus, and said ‘Fuck You!’. I made a straight face and contemplated again. Two weeks of introspection later, I have hugged and made up with Karma and told him, ‘Dude, let the world misunderstand you, but I’m not going to blame you like others, for anything anymore’. Karma has given me a teary smile and an awkward ‘hehe’ and gone back to another place, searching for new targets.
Whenever, something goes wrong, or 2+2 doesn’t come to 4, or all those elaborate ‘planning’ falls flat on the face, we, lesser mortals blame Karma for it. Some jerk once sang, ‘What goes around, comes around’ or some such jazz. Really? I feel like asking: Who told you that anyway, genius? Poor Karma. Trust you me baby, Karma is a little boy with a lollipop. It has nothing to do with you failing in a relationship BECAUSE you dumped someone else before. Or, flunking the Stats exam BECAUSE you are an atheist. Or, even better, getting out at 99, BECAUSE you yelled at your girlfriend last night, and she hung up saying, ‘Fuck your cricket match. I hate you’. You failed Stats ‘cuz accept it, you suck at calculations (big turn off, if you ask me), and you got out at 99 because the bowler was better than you. And, hotter too.
Stop dragging this child called Karma, into your confused life. While you are blaming him, he might be taking a dump, or flying a kite, or dancing to the beats of Chammak Chhalo for all you know. Karma is so much like Karna. Poor and sad. Lonely yet heroic orphans, they are. Like cute Siamese twins. Life would be so much better if you could just accept that whatever is going wrong, is going wrong because of you. Or in my case, because of other kids. But Karma is NOT the kid I’m talking about here.
So next time, you shrug and say, ‘Karma is a bitch’, think about my pearls of wisdom, kick yourself in the nuts and accept your flaws. It’s so NOT cool to blame others for your own deeds, man.
PS: No, I’m not Karma’s PR. And Karma is not a hot Richie Rich guy (though I wish he was).