Break Ke Baad.

So, we all have had our share of heartaches sometime or the other, in life. Some take ages to ‘move on’. Some just feels so happy to have found the ‘new found freedom’ that they go overboard and fix a date at CCD, the very next day. They bore the date with sulky stories of their recent break up, and the date gets scandalized and never picks up any call ever again. That’s a different story though.

Going by Bollywood (everyone knows by now, I am the champion of being filmy, and proud of it) – the hero-heroine breaks up, because of the girl’s rich tyrannical dad/elder brother, or because the hero dies (who comes back unscathed in the climax to bash up the goons), or because of misunderstandings (read: Heroine’s evil ‘best friend’ fix up a false trap to show, how our hot hero is cheating on her), or whatever the reasons might be. Immediately after the break up, CUT TO – a sad song sequence pops up. The heroine who otherwise is a staunch believer in wearing skimpy two-piece outfits in college, suddenly gives away all her clothes to the nearby laundry or a NGO, and starts wearing plain Jassi like salwar kameez’s instead. The make up goes away, and you start pondering, maybe this is the real reason why the hero left her. He might have made love to her all night in the dark and woke up to this non make-up face early morning, got scared, ran away, and never came back.

In movies, there is always a happy ending (atleast in apna Bollywood). As our very own SRK stammered and tried to prove a point, saying “Happies the Endings”. Apparently, if a movie doesn’t have a happy ending, it is not the end. Too bad, it does not happen in real life. In real life, the hero and heroine walk around hand in hand on hilltops (not Switzerland, but closer home, small hilltops, where Salman Khan flex muscles and give angry looks). So they giggle and take long walks, click pictures, attend classes and think it’s an epic love story. In reality, there is no tyrannical Daddy dearest who is rich and bossy. In reality, the hero is not even poor, and does not have a blind mom, and a sister who needs to get married ASAP. In reality, the heroine does not prance around trees and wear spaghettis or fake eyelashes, to grab eyeballs.

But in reality, the hero plays cricket and the heroine cheers (No, she does not wear short skirts and carry bon bons).  In reality, they do not send pigeons to each other, to send across a message. They ping on FB to say, ‘Let’s go to the mess in 5 minutes’. In reality, the hero doesn’t save the scantily clothed heroine from five goons carrying hockey sticks. He just carries around a DSLR and exudes irresistible boy-ish charm to woo her.

In reality, they break up not because the hero is a driver/servant/farmer. They break up because of ‘worldly issues’ like,  “We love each other, but you know our families will never agree.” (Yeah right! All this while, I did not know your father’s name is Bill Gates. What are you saying! Then toh, your family surely won’t agree. We really should break up RIGHT NOW!), or maybe “I cannot make you happy. I am too bad. You would be happier without me, trust me.” (Yeah? Who decides that?), or even better,Long distance would be a bitch” (Come again?  Bombay and Pune is just 3 hours away. Ever heard of the Volvo buses?). Apart from these, there are more ‘important ‘issues’ that crop up, like, I need to concentrate on my career now” (read: I have had enough of making out, sending gifts and paying phone bills – I woke up today morning to realize, I have to mail my CV to the Placement Cell, and I think it sucks).

If you are as filmy as me, you can also come up with reasons like, “I work with the NASA/CIA. Sorry I never told you. Am on a secret mission. Forget me!”, OR “I think I’m pregnant! ”. The classic “Main tumhare bachche ki MAA banne wali hoon”, would make the hero break into a song sequence in Bollywood. The room would be decorated in pink and the hero would laugh and act looney with toys all around him. But in reality, our hero would be like, “Dude, you kidding me? But we used protection!”

In Bollywood, the hero would cut his finger with one swift stroke of the knife, and put heroine ke‘maang mein sindoor’ on a dark dark, stormy night. The temple bells would sway dangerously, and they would be married just like that. The heroine would shriek and say, “Ek chutki sindoor ki kimaat tum kya jano?” But in reality, our very own chocolate boy would put sindoor and say, “This does not mean we are married, right? Or are we?”. The heroine would make a straight face and say, “Of course NOT. We are playing Bollywood-Bollywood Drama-Drama remember?

In films, the hero heroine looks at each other. Music plays in the background. The heroine’s hair flutters in the wind, along with her short skirt. And they fall in love. For the FIRST TIME, mind you. The best part about films is, there is no concept of this dangerous individual called “The Ex”. It’s so simple. They fall in love. They sing, dance, kiss behind flowers. They wear make up and whisper sweet nothings in each other’s ears. The heroine never needs to tell, “You are my third SERIOUS relationship.”  The hero never needs to tell, “You are the fifth girl am screwing.” It’s like a Lala-land.

But, in reality? Your guess is as good as mine. Issues like, “Your 3rd ex is in your facebook friend list” or “Did your 9th fling call you last night?” or “Are you sure your 5th ex boyfriend is JUST a friend now?” crops up. Whoever said, we are showing ‘reality’ in cinema needs to do some more ‘research’.

In Bollywood, the heroine packs up her bags and leave for the airport, because she can’t deal with the heartache. The hero suddenly realizes what he is losing in life, drives a car at the speed of a F1 formula car, meets an accident, gets caught by cops, breaks all airport rules, but still manages to stop the airplane. All bloody and sweaty, he extends his arms, and stops his love from ‘flying’ away. But in reality? No one comes. She buys a ticket. The plane flies on time. Reaches on time. No one comes.

In reality, life moves on. Just like before. In reality, it gets added to the long list of ‘Exes’. In reality, the hero still clicks. The heroine still writes. The hero does not fight five goons with one hand. The heroine does not wear a white salwar kameez to prove a point. But trust you me baby, in reality, life simply moves on… 

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